My Adventurous Bike Ride in 11 Tweets

I am EFSweetman on Twitter, the Vespa Piaggio Poster Girl

MY ADVENTUROUS BIKE RIDE by E. F. Sweetman ‏@EFSweetman

Chapter 1
A quick bike ride after the ball game with the unexpected eye-candy of naked (and drunk) guy lying at the end of Washington Street

Chapter 2
“Dude! Put on your pants!” were my words of encouragement as, you see, his soaked jeans were somewhere in the vicinity of his his bare bum.

Chapter 3
A bleary-eyed stare from two eyes on the head; couldn’t see the one-eyed monster as he had tucked his naughty bits between his hairy thighs.

Chapter 4
Tutting and clacking citizens gave this bare fellow a wide berth. I queried for his health with a chorus bark of “Drunk!” for their reply.

Chapter 5
Sirens and squealing tires as Beverly’s finest arrived on the scene. Our naked Drunk! fellow groaned. I think he recognized that sound.

Chapter 6
Two burley officers marched upon the unfortunate boozy buffer. Their abrupt queries were received with a complete surrender–all was exposed

Chapter 7
The crowd gasped or guffawed, a few did both, mothers shielded children’s eyes as burly officers hoisted up the young starker by his armpits

Chapter 8
“Cover up!” ordered the bald officer (who never looked more like a human penis than at that moment) “No point to that anymore!” yelled a man

Chapter 9
Unceremoniously dumped into the squad car, our eyes were spared any further assault of the naked man. He gave a friendly wave from inside.

Chapter 10
“This is why you shouldn’t drink beeeyah!” scolded a weathered mom of a fat young man on a Razor scooter. The buzzing crowd dispersed

Chapter 11
That is how I survived a terrifying encounter with a drunk, naked man at the end of Washington Street. I pedaled home & hugged my children.
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from Beverly, MA

6:35 PM – 27 May 12 via web · Details


About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
This entry was posted in bicycling, blogging, cautionary tales, humor, internet, Observations, short story, society, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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