My Epiphany

The Team Captain forwarded me this Craigslist link: Pair of rusty 3-speeds for 20 bucks.
Mi Cap-i-tain knows me well and I’d like to thank him for his kindness in not mentioning my lack of team spirit this past winter. He’s a good Captain and I must not to disappoint him. I will get those bikes, in fact, I must have them! But what if I was too late? I had to act immediately before some other lucky person snagged the deal of the century hence the reason for my sprint through the house in a panic before seven a.m. last Tuesday.

I'll call her Midnight

And this lovely is Jasmine

My beloved husband stopped me to inquire why I raced by with my younger son’s jacket thrown over my scottie pajamas.
“Two bikes! Midnight! Jasmine! Twenty dollars! Must find keys!”
He has a sixth sense when I’m about to acquire another bike because I can never find my car keys when I’m about to embark upon a bike quest. Anyway, he got the gist of my plan: I was about to run out of the house wearing pajamas in hot pursuit of two rusty and un-ridable pieces of trash that I’ve named Midnight and Jasmine. He gave me the You have got to be kidding me look.
I tried the Well Mister Man, you’re the one who married crazy! but it failed to produce my keys.
I tried to be sensible and reasonable. As sensible and reasonable as I could be, knowing I was losing precious time to some other genius lucky enough to find not one but two treasures on Craigslist.
“How on earth will Midnight and Jasmine inconvenience you? These are going to be my two-for-twenty-bucks bikes, you don’t have to worry about them!”
My dearest said nothing, he just marched me out to the back, through 3 feet of snow, flung open the garage door and stepped back so he wouldn’t get knocked by a bike that burst out of the two-car garage that is stuffed with a Red Bike Fleet, a few garbage bikes that are in different stages of decay, two road bikes, a chopper and a mixte.
You know when you have one of those dawning moments? When suddenly you see things as clearly as others can see them? I saw our garage with the mess of bicycles, bicycle parts, pumps, tools, helmets and old tires and inner tubes. I had the epiphany my darling was looking for…I really need to organize the garage so there’s enough room for Midnight and Jasmine.

About EF Sweetman

writing, reading, pretty much everything noir
This entry was posted in 1, bicycling, blogging, Blogroll, cautionary tales, essay, family, humor, Men, writing and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to My Epiphany

  1. chlost says:

    What is a mixte? Just remind him that there are a lot worse things that could have become your passion. Imagine if you were born to collect dump trucks.

    • sweetman says:

      Hi Chlost,
      Well let me get you started in the wonderful world of bike obsession. A mixte is a road bicycle with a slanted top bar that starts at the head tube and extends down to the rear axle. It looks like a girl’s bike and they were very popular in the 1970s.

  2. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    And what number does Jasmine and Midnight bring you up to now on the bike count? You’re gonna need a bigger house soon. 🙂

  3. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    Lizzzzzyyyyyyyyy………I’m starting to take off my shoes in preparation for hurling them at you! Trust me….you do not want this! They are huge, STINKY shoes!……… You know what you need to do……. Get to it!!! Right NOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

  4. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:


    Time to blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  5. chlost says:

    I’m with Mark. I miss seeing your posts.

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