It’s Coin-Toss Friday!

Good morning, good morning.
Kind of tough to get going around here, such a damp and chilly day! Very difficult to catapult my sorry self out of bed and it’s even more pathetic to type with a swollen bee-stung hand. I keep pressing two keys at the same time with my big fat fingers.

All of the above are the very reasons to fill the day with excitement and intrigue. Why not let a game of chance add some whimsy to a bleak and gloomy day?

It’s Coin-Toss Friday!
Today’s toss determines My Boyfriend for The Day. Will it be:

Am I a Team Edward kind of gal?

Or could I end up with:

Bieber Fever! Bieber Fever! Bieber Fever!

I’ve decided on heads for Justin, tails and it’s Edward.
I’m pretty neutral about the results and will accept the decision on the first toss–none of that Oh man! Make it best of three! whiney stuff; the course of my day is based on one flip of a 1998 quarter. How exciting!

An Edward Day will start pretty late, of that I am certain. He’ll probably sleep until afternoon, possibly sunset which works for me in many ways. I’ll be able to do the laundy and cleaning without trying to hold up my end of the angst-filled and meaningful conversation about how wrong we are for each other. I can go food shopping without his monologue on my boring grocery cart because it’s not filled with bloody lamb entrails. Making Edward’s lunch, however, will be so easy! I’ll just dump the bloody lamb entrails into a diamond encrusted, gold-leaf bowl. (Note to self: pick up diamond encrusted, gold leaf bowl while Edward sleeps.)

Team Edward-dirty-head

My energies for an Edward Day will focused on the cerebral. I don’t believe we’ll have a very physically active day when he finally emerges from his crypt. I know I’ll have to do the melt-inside-but-appear-guarded-and-unaffected when he looks at me longingly– I really have to practice that pose.
I think we’ll just spend a lot of time brooding and sighing and taking turns starting sentences that we finish in our thoughts. That sounds totally cool for a day like today, I’m feeling low-key. I might ask him if we could wash his hair. I think he has about 56 years of hair product piled on and I imagine the smell is pretty rank.
Yes. We’ll definitely wash Edward’s hair if he wins the coin-toss.

A Justin Day will start instantly and in high gear, I just know it. I’m going to have to stow away all the breakables and pad the walls and floor for this little guy. I predict it will take him about two hours to wind down enough to ask for a juice box. I see myself as something of the calmer half of our relationship and plan on saying, “Justin! Focus!” many, many, many times.

Go-get-the-ball-go-get-it! Good boy Justin!!

We might head out to the beach so I can toss him a tennis ball until he really wears out. Then I’ll ask him why he sings in such a high-girly voice. I don’t want go all critical on him on our first day together, but man! I was sure I was listening to an eight year old girl on helium when I first heard him sing! I won’t say it like that though, I’ll be a lot nicer because I don’t want to cause any Bieber tears (and if I do, I’ll collect them to make fairy dust!). This I promise, when he settles down for his afternoon nap, I am going to cut those bangs. I mean, enough of the swoopty-doo, Justin, it’s so over when seventy-year old women are sporting Bieber-Hair.

Hmmm, how interesting! Regardless who ends up as my boyfriend, either will have a completely different head of hair by the end of our day. What fun!

Well there it is and off I go.


About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
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4 Responses to It’s Coin-Toss Friday!

  1. TheIdiotSpeaketh says:

    Dear woman! I should shoot you (mercy killing) if you are serious about either of these “dudes”………. I think you got stung a few more times than you thought! Better get yourself to the hospital! Shall I call 9-1-1? 🙂

  2. Sinman says:

    Oyyy, see, you should spend more time mountain biking and posing for my phone/camera!

  3. sweetman says:

    Yes, Glenn…Mountain biking with my Boyfriend for The Day!
    Edward doesn’t need a bike because he can fly but Justin needs one with training wheels– and an extra padded helmet.
    The photo was a hit, my BFFTD left with a copy in his wallet!

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