I just got another new fall catalogue today from Madewell.
It’s a spawn catalogue of J Crew. For some reason, J Crew loves me. They send me about 25 catalogues a year despite my numerous requests telling them to quit it. I must have, at some time in my life, fit their demographic perfectly which is really funny because
1. I don’t like their clothes
2. I can’t afford their clothes and
3. I don’t fit into their clothes as I’m not 6 feet tall, 100 pounds and perpetually 23 years old.
Undaunted, they believe with every fiber of their being that they’ve got what it takes to get me into a J Crew outfit which will result in me parting with at least 300 of my hard earned dollars. I have to admire that kind of tenacity.
The new tactic is to send me 50 catalogues a year from their sister retailer Madewell. This catalogue is deceptive; it has a hard-working, gritty cover that gives me the impression it’s got some substance in its 60% post-consumer recycled pages. I was also under the impression that Madewell was supposed to have an appeal to those who wanted to spend 20% less than J Crew.
Hah! on both accounts! Ugly clothes for ridiculous prices! I despair for what I’m going to see this fall if these are the styles of the moment.
Not into stripes? (That’s too bad, nearly every page has someone wearing prison stripes for nothing less than $100.) Well how about this little number:
And I can die the day after I wear this “kicky” (translation: effing-fugly) denim romper because after one full day in them, all of my life dreams will be utterly accomplished:
And you know, when I’m feeling kind of lacey-flouncy-cut-off-sweat-pantsy, you will most assuredly see me in this get-up:
Now my real fashion dilemma…do I wear this?
to the New Year soiree? You see, $200 is my limit for an article of clothing for a formal event. I’m hoping the hillbilliness is minimized in the bank-emptying price tag (which will be prominently displayed). I’ll glide past all those jealous formally gowned gals who will writhe in envy when they see I”ve spent two hundred bucks on my patches and dirty denim. Meeeyowwww!
How did women’s fashion fall so far? What the heck happened? Multiple factors, I’m certain, which sadly say so much about corporate sales suave ability to lead large consumer groups to the proverbial trough and actually get them to drink the putrid water. It’s almost funny if it weren’t so awful to see women who are not 6 feet tall, 100 pounds or 23 years old parade around in those duds. Hell, it doesn’t matter if they are all of the above, it still looks really ugly.
I just returned my Madewell catalogue with a copy of this post…my final attempt to get them to stop sending me their crappy catalogues.