Oh Yeah! Shark Week!

Holy Crap…

It's my first Shark Week


It’s Shark Week.

Not only are you dead-in-the-water, an airborn shark can take down your low flying plane!

I watched attacking, leaping and flying Great White sharks from 9 p.m. to midnight last night. Then I dreamed of sharks for the little time I slept afterwards… and guess what? I’m going to do it again tonight.
Oh yeah, it’s Shark Week and I’m addicted.

They are huge, powerful hunters. They have evolved to be one of the most efficient, lightening-fast and throrough predators on the planet. Everything about them says, “I am going to eat you and for your sake, you’d better pray it’s quick.”

Who knew they could burst out of the ocean with this kind of ferocity?

I have the utmost respect for the those filming and researching the sharks. They are dedicated professionals who appreciate and want to protect these enormous ocean predators. They put themselves in extreme danger to learn more about the elusive and private Great White shark. They put themselves in even more danger to capture the footage that makes Shark Week so incredible. I am ashamed to admit I thought it was hilarious (in my terrified state) that the crew cautioned the camera man sitting on a flimsy, seal-shaped floatation device by warning him,
“Watch out! There’s one behind you!”

Does the poor guy on his flimsy seal-shaped floatation device have any hope of stopping the Great White Shark from eating him by turning around to look at it? This would most likely be his last vision on this earth:

Say your prayers camera boy

Great White Sharks are enormous, efficient eating machines. They are muscle, teeth, digestive tract and a few fins. There’s not the slightest doubt of what they were put on this world to do.

I did learn a couple of helpful things last night when I wasn’t clamping my mouth shut to prevent screams from escaping. Evidently you can actually repel a shark attack by pushing its nose away from you:

Not today sharkie my friend!


Whew! That’s a big one off the worry pile! Yeah, right! My shark repellent move is the classic half second of terrified screaming accompanied the most useless flailing about that will actually propel me into it’s enormous jaws. Sharks call people like me “mindless snacking”.

In all honesty, I don’t have a terror of sharks. I think they are amazing, incredible and beautiful creatures in a viciously scary way. Watching them in action is like being on a fantastic roller coaster ride. I do have sympathy for the seals who are the true shark bait and I have tremendous respect for all who risk their lives to give me this thrill in the comfort of my living room.

My, my, my....don't you look good enough to eat!

I admit to thinking more about sharks when I go for a swim during Shark Week but I know the water is too cold around here for the Great Whites. To prove it to you, I’ll have my darling husband take a nice picture of me in the ocean, relaxed and happy…Go ahead, Dan, take the picture…Hey why are you looking at me like that? Just take the picture!

Sweetman's family wants all to know she was happy up to the moment she became shark bait.

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About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
This entry was posted in 1, Blogroll, cautionary tales, Discovery Channel, essay, Observations, pets, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Oh Yeah! Shark Week!

  1. Sinman says:

    Let’s go to the Cape!! I hear the water’s fine!

  2. redriverpak says:

    JAWS…..in a theater….12yrs old…..nightmares for a month…..have never swam in the ocean since….. enough said.

  3. redriverpak says:

    Watched SW last night….big mistake…45yrs old….nightmares….wife laughing…..enough said.

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