What do you really need?

This is fun and I’ve lifted it from a wordpress site.
Please note that this would probably cause my father to commit hari kari because he hates the expression, “I need…” He strongly feels that the only things anyone needs are air, water, sustainable food and a daughter to rant at about these for hours at a time.
Anyway

Type your first name with the word “needs” after it on google and record the first 10 results. Why 10? Because that’s what I was instructed to do and I need to follow instructions.

Liz needs
1. to get that one frame from out of her animated gif avatar. (that’s weird, it’s the last thing I thing I need because I have no idea what it means, yet there it is, number one!)
2. to seek counseling for her aggressive behavior. (wow)
3. Liz needs a man. (Dan, I promise you I’m not writing this stuff, I am just listing the results and this is number three)
4. to devise a budget and stick to it. (yes I do, that’s a sensible plan)
5. to increase her food intake to 2,000 calories a day. (No I do not, I probably could decrease to 2,000/day since I became so lazy and gluttonous)
6. Liz needs Christmas blocks. (I definitely do not, it sounds crafty and cute–I have no need for that)
7. According to the FBI, Elizabeth needs protection. (Now that is valid. I wonder what type of protection? For my life? From carnival folk? Birth control? What?
WHAT??
)
8. Liz needs a share. (…)
9. Liz needs a haircut. (I do! This is freaky!!)
10. Liz needs to find her own friends and stop making them up. (Saved the best for last! That is soooo true!)

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About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
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