Tattoo technology–the wave of the Future!

My post yesterday about a young man’s tatto regret lead me to think about the next new thing and I really think it’s going to be tattoo removal technology.
I’ve never been a fan of tattoos for a couple of reasons.
First, personally I’ve got a ton of freckles, so I have no burning desire to further mark-up what I already think is overmarked skin. It cheeses me off to see lovely, unblemished skin permanently marked and altered.
Second, the fickle finger of what’s hot and what’s not. Tattoo styles have a nanosecond half life of coolness. Unfortunately, what’s not cool remains permanently imbedded in skin long after the burning flame of popularity died out. Examples: naval suns, unicorns, frogs, Disney and Peanuts characters, tramp stamps. The next wave to flame out? Neck tattoos, wrist cuffs, Chinese symbols, prison imitation art (anything imitation is just posing, you know) and for women of a certain age, those viney, climbing ankle to leg ink that will be indistinguishable from your viney, climbing varicose veins.
My strongest case against tattoos: Time. Aging skin. Don’t even start about how good your ink artist is and how refined the ink! Your skin will loose elasticity and that incredibly meaningful symbol (oh, sorry, you forgot what it meant?) will fade, bleed, muddy up, stretch if you get fat and bag out of shape if you lose weight. I have seen this–even on forearms. Tattoos of a certain age just don’t have that fresh pop and stylized coolness, they look like blurry blobs of…something…oh yeah, I think I can see the heart….
My prediction for future technology is a device that removes all signs of tattoo regret. There is laser treatment, but it leaves a scar. I’ve heard ads on sports radio for fade creams aimed at “tattoo regret” which is a pretty good indicator that this is a burgeoning market. I’m willing to bet there will be thousands of people who are willing to pay thousands of dollars to get that ink out after a couple of years of sporting around the equivalent of the eight track tape machine drawn permanently on their aging, sagging, expanding skin. It’s almost a sure thing, look for this development and throw all your money at it, you’ll retire a multimillionaire.
Sweetman predicts, now take it to the bank.

About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
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