Yoga Hummer

Wow, crunchy yoga person, that was a bold move to park your bright yellow Hummer 2 (the upgraded model on double steroids after they rolled out the first model on steroids) near my house.
You didn’t really think I’d NOT rave about the irony of your enormous road-wreaking, gas-devouring obstacle which takes 3 lanes when you drive, needs an an area the size of an airport landing strip to park yet is emblazoned with “Yoga for Everyone” in feely, swoopty-doopty, lotus blossom lettering, did you?
Maybe I shouldn’t be so harsh–you could have a yoga studio in that monstrosity. You could have a homeless shelter and be teaching hobos how to do sun salutations to help them to actualize a place with four walls and a roof they can call their own. You could be rescuing injured barn owls! building model trains! or holding a symosium about shit-aki yoga! I really don’t know because the windows are tiny and tinted black and way too high for me to peer in.
My feeling is that you ventured into downtown Beverly for a lovely repast at one of the eateries and you parked near my house because the normal-sized street parking slots (spots that were enlarged for behemoths like Lincoln Flabigators and Cadillac Escalators) just weren’t big enough for your enlightened Hummer. I know the owners of the cars that would have been flattened had you tried to parallel park on Cabot Street are mighty grateful, so your Yoga mind does help a lot of people.
Not a problem that you made Hale Street a one lane road in order to get around your small planet-sized Yogamobile (oh wait, it’s moon-sized, right? Pluto was downgraded last summer). I was so fortunate to be able to bask in the hectic yellow glow while I waited for the lane to open for me to get around you. I took the opportunity to I chant “Serenity now! Serenity now!” while I waited.
Hope you had a lovely meal of baby seal and raw whale meat.

About EF Sweetman

writing, reading, pretty much everything noir
This entry was posted in 1, essay, Observations, writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s