“Twilight” series reviews

I have been reviewing the Twilight series on the Goodreads.com website, posting it on my facebook profile so I decided to try to share them here on my blog. Sorry for the repetition if you have read them before. There’s a method to my madness.

Twilight (Twilight, #1)
by Stephenie Meyer

book data 248,997 ratings, 4.01 average rating, 46,836 reviews (more data…) edit
published September 6th 2006 (first published 2005) by Little, Brown and Company
details Paperback, 498 pages
url http://stepheniemeyer.com/twilight.html
characters Edward Cullen, Jacob Black, Bella Swan, Billy Black, …more
setting Forks, Washington (United States)

literary awards Peach Book Award (2008), Kentucky Bluegrass Award for 9-12 (2007), Books I Loved Best Yearly (BILBY) Awards for Older Readers (2009), West Australian Young Readers’ Book Award (WAYRBA) for Older Reader Award (2008), Maryland Black-Eyed Susan Book Award for High School (2007), Gateway Awards (2007), Golden Sower Award for Young Adult (2009), Nevada Young Readers’ Award for Young Adult Category (2007), The Flume: New Hampshire Teen Reader’s Choice Award (2007), Garden State Teen Book Award for Fiction (Grades 9-12) (2008), Pennsylvania Young Readers’ Choice Awards for Young Adult (2008), Rhode Island Teen Book Award (2007), and Evergreen Young Adult Book Award (2008)
isbn 0316015849 (isbn13: 9780316015844)
description Isabella Swan’s move to Forks, a small, perpetually rainy town in Washington, could have been the most boring move she ever made. But once she meets t…more

find at: Amazon • Swap (30) • WorldCat • more options…

edit my review
(edit shelves)
status: Read in January, 2009, read count: I can’t say I read it because I didn’t finish it–it was THAT BAD
recommended for: people with insomnia
recommended by: it was everywhere like a bad rash
review: A No-star rating all around.
This book was nauseating. First of all, it’s a good thing Ann Rice denounced her vampire fiction because I think she would have a problem with many, MANY of the similarly turned phrases repeatedly belched out by Ms. Meyers.
Secondly, all right, we get it, forbidden love brushes his icy lips along her jaw line and neck. Perhaps it titillated a couple of vacuous readers the first or second time, but after the seventeenth brushing of icy lips along her bumbling heroine’s jaw or neck, I wished Edward would have had done with it and killed her off completely.
Third: the adults are all complete morons, the missing links who are used as hand-puppets for Ms. Meyers flagging tale.
Fourth: There is not one shred of a frightening moment in this heap of bum-wad. The evil are neither predatory nor menacing, and the heroine seems to find herself in her boring perils by either bumbling along mindlessly into a dark alley–well, no she was HERDED like a mindless sheep that she is, or she manages to stumble, fall, trip, splat, etc, etc, etc, etc, (for 94 more pages) into the circle of boring vampires who probably got tired of shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch and decided to hassle the dull lump of a girl who does absolutely nothing, lets everything happen to her yet appears to have some sort of mythical-sexual hold on the good vampire.
Last: The only reasons I read as far into this pile of rubbish was to see how much the author lifted from Ms. Rice and so see if she actually wrote as bad as it was for the entire novel. Unfortunately she did. That this has taken such a grip on the heaving breasts of the tweens and teens of America shrivels my bowels. (less)
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About EF Sweetman

bees, baseball, beverly, ma, culture, manners, society, writing
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